Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Shut the Front Door ... Day 114 ... Earth is going to die and it's all my fault.

There is a scientific study (at least I'm sure there is) that says amphibians are the gauge by which the health of our planet is determined.
Amphibians = healthy planet.
No amphibians = unhealthy planet.
Do you know what happens in the spring after the first warm rains come?
The worms come out of hiding to leave a trail of slime across every pathway and roadway.
And.... then there are the frogs.
Oh the frogs.
They sit in the road.
Smack dab in the middle of the tire tracks.
Their white bellies all aglow in the headlights.
Playing this disgusting game of chicken with automotive monsters a 1000 times their size.
Don't they understand?
Don't they get it?
Why don't they run hop?
Why don't they hide?
Why don't they just stay the hell off the road?
 
I drove home tonight from Rome (which is about 1/2 hour drive from my house).
I kid you not....
There is no less than 1 million dead worms
and at least
5.
Hundred.
Thousand.
dead frogs lining the roadway now.
Oh...
and one dead possum (or maybe a possum playing dead???).
Either way...
the possum is not my fault.
 
I swear the person in the car behind me must have thought he/she was following a complete psycho.
I'm swerving.
I'm waving my hands around.
I'm yelling (at critters with no ears),
"get off the road",
"no...don't jump",
and then at the ominous, and oh so audible "thump" of the bullfrogs,
"S#!t... I'm sorry".
 
There can't possibly be any frogs left after that horrific ride home.
Earth is going to die.
And it's all my fault.
 
So...
Day 114
(since there probably won't be a day 115)
 
 
 
 
 
 

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