Pet Peeves ... The Pre Holiday List

Pre Holiday Pet Peeve #1......

It's almost Christmas ....

oh wait, it's only mid November and I've been listening to holiday music for 2 weeks now.

We have a radio station in our area (I won't name names here) that's been playing Christmas music since the 1st of November.

THE 1ST OF NOVEMBER PEOPLE!!

They play it NON STOP

all day,

everyday,

 until Christmas Day.

Then throughout the week after Christmas,

while some people are still having holiday celebrations,

there isn't a "Jingle Bells",

"Let it Snow",

or "Rudolph"

note to be heard.

Seriously.

It's gotta stop.

Let me just eat my turkey in peace.

 

Pre Holiday Pet Peeve #2.....

Either we have a jumbo 747 coming in really low for landing or SOMEBODY has already lit their yard (and half the neighborhood) up with Christmas lights.

Holy Canooooly people....

doesn't the power conglomerates get enough of your money without filling their pockets up extra early.

 

Think I'm gonna need my shades just to take the dog out for her walk tonight.

 

 

 

Pre Holiday Pet Peeve #3.....

Can someone tell me what the fascination is with blow up toys

(and I'm not talking the type you find in adult stores either so get your mind back to the topic at hand...so to speak)?

There's a complete section, in just about any store that sells Christmas decorations, where you can barely hear yourself think because of all the air compressor thingys running.

Who...

tell me who...

really needs

(and I'm stressing the word neeeeeeddds here)

a giant 8 foot Grinch,

with a big round belly full of snow swirling blizzard like around the little town of Whoville?

 

Aye, aye, aye....Now that's one terrified Who right there.

 

 

Pre Holiday Pet Peeve #4

"Why the hell are they blinking"

From Bob River's "12 Pains of Christmas"

Anyone who puts up blinking lights should be shot.

No explanation needed.

End of discussion.

 

Any Questions?

 

 

Pre Holiday Pet Peeve #5

BLACK FRIDAY!

O. M. G.

When a kid says

"I'm just gonna dieeee

if I dont' get the laaaaast

super-mega-mini-micro-macro

thing-a-ma-jig

that the guy on tv says I'm gonna die without".

Do you really think you need to risk "your" life fulfilling that spoiled brats last wish?

STAY HOME!

Stop feeding the bloated corporate holiday beast.

Get the kid a coloring book and crayons (and maybe some coal).

There was a day when that was all a kid needed to be happy.

 

Think "Little House on the Prairie".

 

 

Pre Holiday Pet Peeve #6.....

Half-assed decorating.

You know it when you see it.

You may even be guilty of it.

When the string of (non-blinking) lights goes only 3/4 of the way across the eves.

When the middle section of icicle lights goes dark.

When those bright red Christmas lights actually look Valentines Day pink when lit.

When Rudolph's leg is broken and, even in the dark, you can see the improvised peg leg.

When Santa is hanging upside down from the top of the roof.

When the blown bulbs in your over sized greeting makes it look like you speak a foreign language

"_appy _olidays".

When it's the middle of APRIL and "_appy _olidays" is still greeting everyone who drives by.

 

It's only MID-NOVEMBER for cripes sake.....fix this stuff.

You have time to make it right.

Just make it right.

I'm begging you.

 

 

 

Last .... but certainly ... not least

Pre Holiday Pet Peeve #7.....

Repeating all of #6 the very next year.

You know who you are.

I drive by these yards every year.

And...

every year it's the same half-assed decorating.

If it's not working properly,

if it's broken,

if it should never have seen the light of day (or dark of night) during the previous year,

......

FIX IT OR THROW IT OUT!

It's pain free. I promise you.

 

 

Hope everyone has a

holiday music,

blinking light,

"Welcome to Walmart",

Grinch,

free

 Thanksgiving.